Cas's Birthday
by imdrowninginfootwear
Summary: Dean decides to throw Cas a surprise party with Sam, Crowley, Balthazar, Bobby, and Samuel. Cas has a hard time figuring out what's going on and gets some strange presents. Oneshot. Birthday present for Holly Anne-Rivers


**A/N: This story is dedicated to Holly-Anne Rivers for her birthday.**

* * *

><p>"Cas get your ass down here right now!" Dean yelled angrily at the roof of his hotel room.<p>

"I don't think he's coming," Crowley mocked.

"I have one of your freaky-deaky angel weapons! So you'd better come collect!" Dean yelled once again.

"Where is it?" Came a voice from behind Dean.

"Sure you come as soon as I bring up the weapon," Dean said turning to Cas.

"I don't understand. So you don't have a weapon?" Cas asked squinting his eyes in confusion and lightly tilting his head.

"No, but apparently its the only way I can convince you to get the hell down here," Dean said angrily.

"If you don't have the weapon why are you wasting my time? I'm in the middle of a war, I don't have time for your angst," Cas said in a tired tone.

"I was getting you here for your birthday party jack-ass," Dean told him.

Cas looked around the room for the first time to see Sam, Bobby, Balthazar, Crowley, and Samuel were all there with Dean.

"I don't have a birthday," Cas commented in confusion.

"Everyone has a birthday you idjit," Bobby said sarcastically. "God _did_ create you at some point didn't he?"

"We didn't exactly keep track of the dates then," Cas pointed out.

"Shut up pissy," Balthazar interfered. "We're trying to do something nice for you, besides its your vessel's birthday."

"Its not like I was there when he was born . . ." Cas trailed off.

"Just shut the hell up and enjoy your party," Dean commented. ". . . Even if I wasn't allowed to bring hookers."

"Why would I want hookers?" Cas asked innocently puzzled.

"Its like talking to a wall," Dean said rolling his eyes.

"Walls don't respond Dean."

"You're right its easier to talk to a wall," Dean told him.

"Open my present first," Crowley said throwing something wrapped in human flesh at Cas's head.

It bounced off of Cas's skull without him reacting.

"Well open it," Crowley said.

Cas bent down and picked up the object, he ripped the skin off to find a bloody shoe.

"You got him a shoe?" Asked Bobby critically.

"Not just any shoe, the only shoe that can kill Raphael," Crowley told him. "You see every angel has one object on Earth that can destroy them. All Cassie has to do is throw it at Raphael."

"So does that mean the souls deal is off?" Cas asked.

"What?" Asked Dean and Sam simultaneously.

"Nothing," Cas said defensively.

"Samuel you're up next for presents," Dean told him.

"Well since I found out literally ten minutes ago all I had time to get was flowers," Samuel said throwing a bouquet at the angel.

"Great dancing Jamie?" Cas asked looking at the tag.

"I might have stolen it from a little girl at a dance recital," Samuel said casually shrugging his shoulders.

Next Sam handed Cas a photograph.

"A picture of Dean?" Cas asked confused.

"Not just any picture of Dean, a picture of Dean wearing shorts. You can blackmail him for anything you want because 'Dean doesn't do shorts'," Sam said with a grin.

"I see," Cas said smirking at Dean as he tucked the picture into the pocket of his trench coat for safe keeping.

Bobby's turn was next so he handed Cas a necklace with a shark's tooth hanging from it.

"If you die while wearing it you'll come back to life," Bobby explained.

Dean clearly was jealous of the necklace as Cas put it on.

After that everyone just sat there waiting for someone to give Cas a present.

"Fine, I'll go," Dean said after a few awkward minutes.

He handed over a box, which Cas opened to find chocolate covered strawberries.

Sam snickered from his spot on the bed.

"Its only part of your present, after the party I'm getting you laid tonight," Dean told him.

Cas frowned at him, "Dean."

"Well I guess its my turn," Balthazar said, pulling out a wrapped up square from his jacket.

He handed it over to Cas who unwrapped it to find a book.

"The Book of Gay Karma Sutra?" Cas asked innocently.

"Its got sex positions for two guys," Balthazar explained. "I figured it might come in handy." He winked at Cas suggestively.

"I heard you were having a party Cas, but I didn't believe that you really would hold one without me," Raphael said as he appeared to crash the party.

"Guests by invite only ass-butt!" Cas yelled throwing the shoe at him.

There was a huge flash of light and then Raphael was gone, permanently.

"Seriously? Ass-butt? Again?" Sam asked.

"I couldn't think of anything," Cas shrugged.

"That's what you said last time," Bobby pointed out.

"So?" Cas asked. "Well now that I've used one gift its time that I tried out some others. . . I think I'll try out both of Dean's, Balthazar's book and Sam's picture all at once."

"Well that's not what I meant by getting you laid Cas, but hey, I'm not objecting," Dean said grinning.

There was another flash of light and then Cas and Dean had disappeared with the book and the strawberries.

Balthazar just laid on the bed crying like a baby, "That's not what I got him the book for!"

"Can I get the hell out of here now?" Samuel asked snatching the flowers he had given Cas off of the table and storming out the door.

A few seconds later he came running back in, "Never mind, I found Cas and Dean. They're trying Cas's gifts out in Dean's car."

Meanwhile in the Impala Cas whispered into Dean's ear, "This is the best birthday ever."

* * *

><p><strong><span>AN: Please read and review. This is just a oneshot. I hope you liked it and thanks for reading :D**


End file.
